Thursday, April 30
Ridiculous Day...!!
I finally the pain when people scolded you on the internet. Sorry, mr teo... But, "HIM" makes feel so pissed and urked. He scolded "go suck hoh" on facebook, and spreaded RUMOURS (Apparently, it is obviously FAKE) Seriously lah, I don't realize any problem in me. Other than my attitude in scolding people and not respecting people in wrong. But, "HIM" has loads.....This is obviously not respect, WHY SHOULD I GIVE HIM CHANCE TO LESSLY INVOLVE IN SOUND BUT STILL BE IN LIBRARY? If he doesn't show me any respect, obviously, i cannot work with him which shows he is not preapared for that chance. Seriously, UNTIL YOU LEARN TO RESPECT EACH OTHER ESPECIALLY YOUR SENIORS, YOU WILL NEVER GET ANY CHANCE. UNTIL THEN, I WILL BE CHASING EVERYTIME...
我觉得很累，我从来没那么累过！ 我应不应该放齐，谁能给我开一条新路？, 18:25;
Wednesday, April 29
Confused..
I feel so vexed this days. My mood swings, today one blood vessel of mine "burst". You know how tiring is it to repeat your instructions over and over again and worst is that the person is have experienced the rehearsal. stupid excuse........i feel so sad but i really dunno if i should trust him. if i leave everything to him, does he even do a single thing or just lan lan suck thumb put on his desk and dun care....i got the feeling...tmr would be the last day of the week but it comes with high price...3 tests. ****
k ending here gotta study my a-maths. Byez
yong shun "LOL"
- Why you "LOL"
Shawn "Hello, chill dude :D"
- Thanks!!
KT "is "Tags Replied" all you can say? XD"
Sadly, YES....haha...my replies are on my posts le, why write reply on tagboard?
我觉得很累，我从来没那么累过！ 我应不应该放齐，谁能给我开一条新路？, 19:33;
Tuesday, April 28
Vexed
I feel so vexed lah.... FUCK HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All SHE DOES IS JUST COMPLAIN AND MORE COMPLAIN. I FEEL SO LOST ALREADY YET SHE STILL LIKE SO FUCK-ED UP. SHE IS THE WORST PERSON I EVER MET. ALL SHE DOES IS JUST FUCKING COMPLAIN AND MORE COMPLAIN. IM SO ANGRY AND FURSTRATED ALREADY. YET SHE DOES IS JUST SCOLD ME. I DUNNO WHAT TO DO ALREADY? IM SO SCREWED UP. I GOT NOBODY TO TRUST AND NOBODY TO RELY ON. I FEEL SO ANGRY NOW, MY LIFE IS JUST SO HARD TO LIVE BY!!!!!!!
Emotional Complains:
I do not know what to do already? Should i choose to give up or continue to stress about it somemore. I've got nobody reliable to trust on....Not with the most trustable in my life failed to make me trust him. I always thought he could save us but i guess it's just a dream.....i also dunnoe wad to say but i feel so tired.
我很累，我从来每那么累过。 我很想就这样放齐， 但是， 有一个声音， 一之不要我放齐。
yanheng "go die"
- wad die? i also never offend you....
我觉得很累，我从来没那么累过！ 我应不应该放齐，谁能给我开一条新路？, 18:37;
Monday, April 27
Craps
Today is such a crappy day. Not a day that i ever wanted. Ending the weekend break with a PE is CRAP!! Anyway, today A-Maths nothing much. Physics, dunno wad action research thingy. PE is the worse (MUST ELABORATE, DUN CARE IF YOU KILL ME)
PE: Mr raj started off scolding the girls for punctuality. Seriously he is OUT OF HIS FREAKING MIND. Man....it's such a drag. Then started saying 2.4km test today. My mind was blanked, i wasn't prepare for this shock. Just started like nobody's business. I guess 18min streak is needed for me. Hey, i've been trying my very best already but still 18 min. still need come back for "remedial" i was like SHIT!! Then not the worst.
60 Push-up
50 cruches
60 "reach the ankle"
I really wanted to say ****. I feel so drained. English did the argumentive essay. Brandon say waaaa robot, do so fast. Aiya, this type of thing must rush so got more time to spend with my wife ("laptop") and my MOUSEHUNT.
Emotional Complains:
Im so damn sick of this liaoz, why do i feel so awkward? i feel so wierd? im so pissed now, i feel so lost, i dunno who to trust. He makes me feel so distrust him already. I really do not know wad to do already. Ask us Mid-May then plan. Waaaa, heavens now liao lor, like ants on a boiling pot. All anxious, ask if wan postpone oso bo chup attitude liaoz
I really do not know what to do, why should i do, When should i do? I DUNNO WHAT TO DO, AT THIS RATE, IM GOING CRAZY ALREADY.......
Okay ending here liao, byez gotta do my stuff.
yongshun "consumedsadness.blogspot.com"
- Copy mine and Darren link. Copycat
我觉得很累，我从来没那么累过！ 我应不应该放齐，谁能给我开一条新路？, 15:43;
Sunday, April 26
Just feel like sharing
It's really been a very long and tiring week. I knew all along. My distance with god is getting further and further away each moment. It really shook me hard when yee hern counsel me. I feel so guilty. I really been someone who upset god. Seriously, i really feel so awkward. Anyway, im so dead meat tmr. like i said, forced to go H&W then PE then maths remedial. Freak, im so dead now.....
yongshun "link me"
- LINKS?
larry "dun be sad or anry lahs conentrate on ur exams now MYE is coming le gd lucks:)"
- Thx,You're the best.
KT "YX shall never get to see my EZ Link card! Hohoho!"
- I wan see.....
yanheng "yixian, chill men. everything will be fine."
- Thx, everything will be fine if you stop touching me. xD
我觉得很累，我从来没那么累过！ 我应不应该放齐，谁能给我开一条新路？, 15:20;
Friday, April 24
Worst day of my life
I just couldn't rate today but one thing i know is that today is the WORST day of my life. Morning seems peaceful but argues were heard. Dragged out and gave a heartful scolding. Seriously, i choose to care to not to care but one thing i know is that my intention is for the club and not for myself. I am trying to protect the name to prevent misunderstood. You just don't understand my intention. I feel that our distance are getting further away. I could have just left without a word and bo chup everything but i chose to care because i still care for the club. We are trying our best and you just scold us for no reason. Things must not be speed if not the consequences will be disastrous. I wish i would have died or something. I CRIED, Indeed i cried. I just couldn't take it anymore. I feel so fed up and furstrated. I couldn't even concentrate in class. Just want to let you know, my intention is still first on the club. I can choose to concentrate on my studies but im placing the club on one of the items which needs high attention. Indeed i do not know where are you coming from but do you know? I felt so angry, so wrongly accused, like a victim given a death penalty. I feel the same as you, fed up. Nobody wants it to turn out this way. It's the school's fault for that. We just need a little more understanding. We need the teachers to take care of the discipline if not we will have hard time ahead. But now, seriously this thought shoot my mind before. Quit my position and leave the CCA. Great, i've this thinking means my brain is still working and not dead.
Btw thanks mavis and TYH for your concerns, Greatly accepted.
Recess called to see mr raj. another heartful scolding. Seriously, i do not like how he ask us exercise non-stop. I feel so tired and drained off. Especially a long day ahead of us. I feel so tired and just give up everything.
Conclusion, I CHOOSE TO CARE. AND ANY SHAKES CAN CAUSE MY MINDSET TO CHANGE. I COULD HAVE JUST LEFT THIS DAMN POSITION AND CONCETRATE ON MY STUDIES INSTEAD OF GROWING MORE WHITE HAIR ON MY HEAD FOR THIS CLUB. RMB, I CHOOSE TO CARE!!!!!
我觉得很累，我从来没那么累过！ 我应不应该放齐，谁能给我开一条新路？, 20:53;
Thursday, April 23
Haiiz...*Sighs*
I feel the sudden urge to sleep and never wake up feeling. Everyone forces me to do something against my will. Ask me to watch over the fire and what does she do? See drama on com. What is this? Im already very frsutrated in school and she just throw everything towards me. Especially with "HIM" telling all sorts of things and throwing everything to me instead of the guy. Why do i recieve this treatment? I feel so tired and angry. He just throw everything to me to do. Apprantly, he does nothing. Always saying he has a lot to do. WHAT?!?! i see him doing nothing. Crap!! Everything i do and now im dying already. I can't take this stress anymore. I just hope quickly one year zoom past. I can concentrate on my studies always ask me go down take the mic when he is there talking. Always asking me to do something when he is playing. CRAP!!! I can't take this anymore. I feel so tired and have the feeling to just DIE away. I feel so unhappy now. i havent ascend my workload increases 10x from my normal work. then i ascend 100x liao lor? I really regret listening to him.
我觉得很累，我从来没那么累过！ 我应不应该放齐，谁能给我开一条新路？, 19:05;
Wednesday, April 22
Busy but happy
Life's is so busy today. Although the usual shouting from meng lao shi haha, then pratically did nothing today but i used the lift during recess then caught by mr zul. Waaa i swear that was a very nervous moment. I was so screwed by him lah. Anyway, dun feel like elaborating. After school, had meeting, the usual complaints and finally he decided to take note of what we always say. then clement say when give consent form then i reply, havent think cost you want give consent form. I was serious when i say i pratically dun care anymore. You all chose to listen to mr khai keep thinking that mid may then start planning. No time, THERE IS NO TIME. i just hope that this camp will be a successful yet active camp. but hope, if you all continue my plan, maybe today won't happen this time of thing.
plan food, logistic,bbq,games, so many thing. haiiz, im so disspointed
我觉得很累，我从来没那么累过！ 我应不应该放齐，谁能给我开一条新路？, 20:06;
Tuesday, April 21
Heyz
Life's been pretty good this days. The life with no pe for 1 week is super precious especially with that stupid guy who always forced us. Anyway,yesterday went movies with larrty and han yi. we went to watch KNOWING. Pretty good i can say. Ending was just plain simple. A new beginning with adam and eve. i was like huhz?then now my parents are back form their holiday. They bought me a sling bag. Wooo, which i've always wanted. finally i owned one. today was pretty boring lahz. Never get scolded, usual joking with teachers when i sit at the front. After school, sat for a-maths test. FUCK lah, die le, sure fail liao, a lot ppl dunnoe how to do qns 3. DIe la, whole class fail again lorz. CCA was pretty simple. mavis keep molesting me, calling my name then touch my *ahem* (got young readers) BUT I SAY AGAIN,TYH CANNOT TOUCH ME FOR 1 WEEK. HMMM!!
我觉得很累，我从来没那么累过！ 我应不应该放齐，谁能给我开一条新路？, 18:22;
Sunday, April 19
Sundays
Today was the 4th and the last 2nd day of my parents and sister trip. HEHE, which means presents for me. tmr e-learning shit sia, wanted to go out, but mdm koh say ss must wait monday. ****, i wanna go out breathe fresh air. Anyway, ytd food and fun fair, was quite angry at sound department but partly it was my fault. Stupid TYH, punish you cannot touch me for 1 week, ( I'm Serious) *Editor Note: Seriously i think i get molested my TYH everyday* i wan sue him. Because of that lunch part. Then i acciently dropped the senhiser wired mic which cost 400 bucks. Waaa,fuck leh, i lost my mind when i setting up. It was super rush. i totally blank and just setted up as fast as i could. I dun blame anyone probably can say its my fault for it. I felt ashamed for that, i wish i would have dug a hole for me to put my head in. Today was quite a boring day, 1 to 1 on my laptop. It finally broke down like wad i expected the auto shut-down part. i switched to the Main PC and started using.
Presents: Some random pics i took this week+ 1 special pic
This is Mr Larry aka Monkey *(Revenge Time)*
This is mr Bronson. Ain't he cute? TYH sometimes say he's gay ( Always say this, Bronson ah NI HEN GAY LEH),LOL
This is my name on the board, if i remember correctly, it was hafifi who wrote this
This is my 2 SUPER UBER CUTE NEPHEWS BUT they are from australia. (YES, NEPHEWS,IM A UNCLE NOW)
我觉得很累，我从来没那么累过！ 我应不应该放齐，谁能给我开一条新路？, 17:08;
Saturday, April 18
Sorry if my previous post offended anyone, maybe ita just because i was too angry that i made that, under human instinct, anyone can do some crazy thing just like me. im sorry if i offended especially him but i was totally not joking about the lunch part
我觉得很累，我从来没那么累过！ 我应不应该放齐，谁能给我开一条新路？, 20:55;
Wednesday, April 15
...
Feel so stressed out, hoping this week end faster then usual. BUT THERE IS A CERTAIN PERSON IN MY BLOG BUT I DUN LIKE HIM TO KNOW MY BLOG. SHIT.... anyway this club been getting inactive more and more......i just feel so tuesday bluessssss.SAD!! dun wan to talk oso
我觉得很累，我从来没那么累过！ 我应不应该放齐，谁能给我开一条新路？, 16:18;
Monday, April 13
Hey guys, was damn happy ytd. I got my w595 alr. I was made to choose lah....910 or 595. of cos choose as new more good. I promise i will be good,pa!! Internet broke down so never blog. Friday was like the best day. I WON IN MONOPOLY...wooo. I won Ian lao shi, anna lao shi, tu jun and cowen. haha!!! I started out very poor no hope cos build a lot of hotel. then no money. but a lot ppl keep touching on my house, then slowly earn 1k-2k money.
slowly i got my money back. haha pwnz. Saturday nth much, went out with sis go her massage, I FINISHED MY TENCHU:SHADOW ASSASIN...WOOO!!! I complete the game, so easy. Then go see my australia cousin and nephew. Alexander and Jonathan. Im a uncle,lol. They ARE SO KAWAII!!!! i cant believe the cuteness they provide. Alexander likes to hug his daddy's legs. Jonathan likes to drool on people's shirt. Sunday go easter sunday service. Go my old house market have lunch. Homed at 4+. Accompany my pa to NTUC then dinner at home. GO COMPASS POINT CHANGE HP...WOOOO...i cant believe he finally decided to change. I realise something, my old phone 5070 trade in 10 bucks nia. Seriously i couldn't believe the stupid price they quote us.
Side complaint:
I really can't believe, stop planning until mid may. YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. Not like they want 7/24 meeting. Mid may=Mid Year exams. You do not understand just like last year how the camp failed so badly. you want me to stay focus on our motive but I AM DOING SO!!! I want the members to have 101% fun in the camp. Anyway, i've given up le. Let they all whatever they want. Finish early means more time on other stuffs. YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND!!!!!
我觉得很累，我从来没那么累过！ 我应不应该放齐，谁能给我开一条新路？, 12:57;
Thursday, April 9
Saddest day of my life
Tmr is the 1 month from the date...i feel so unhappy today. Forced to do backstage. I sweat like no heaven...my whole uniform is like i just bathe and wore over it without wiping the water off. Because of this, im unhappy with him. Say wad get your piority right...wth? Test or media important. Freak sia, no time study still want me do. MA DE.... anyway, i hate him lah.....last time forced to see my blog now anger me. How would i have him as my superior last year. FREAK!! I feel so tired. although this week is a short week. Just feel like relax at somewhere peaceful. i call it my la-la land. Haha....in my dreams will have this. sian tio H&W club...freak.... so tiring de lor....im dead for sure...
我觉得很累，我从来没那么累过！ 我应不应该放齐，谁能给我开一条新路？, 19:44;
Tuesday, April 7
Feeling so down....
I've been feeling quite sad this few days....Napfa is like coming up....SSP is killing me....Test is still okay okay....I realise how hard it is to lead a club...It requires cooperation and more on Leadership Skill...I JUST LACK LEADERSHIP SKILL.....At least i still know that there are still some who are willing to listen to me. I dunnoe why its just that it makes me smile and laugh when i am with the members. Whenever i joked with them, i just feel that the emptiness is gone. Anyway, 2.4km new record 18min 58 sec....MY BEST SIA.... I didn't know i could do it either....anyway, i am so tired now. I just feel so down and happy now. It's almost 1 month where he promised me something....AND THAT STOOOOOOOOOPPPPIIIIDDDDD TYH MOLESTED ME, SO I ATTACK HIM BACK THEN HE CALL ME GAYYY...WAD THE......TYH IS THE REAL PERVERT...HMMZZZ
Does she know about that already?
-Yi Xian
我觉得很累，我从来没那么累过！ 我应不应该放齐，谁能给我开一条新路？, 18:55;
Saturday, April 4
...
My life is falling apart....im breaking down. No use forcing me, i really can't do it. Mr raj is like ****.....I know i can't do it then STOP FORCING ME? I wasted 3 mins on the road to rest, that's the worse 3 mins of my life. My whole body aches, i could not help myself and start walking, my liver part feel like someone kicking and punching it, very numb. April is sure gonna be a BAD MONTH. NAPFA,SSP,MEDIA (WHICH IS KILLING ME ALR). I've had enough already. Media is stressing me up. I Need a shoulder to cry on and a ear for me to talk to. I do not even dare to talk to the counsellers in school. Proves to be deadly....Anyway, For sure i know, i'm falling in love. That particular gurl just attracts me. My heart thumps like mad. I just want to say 3 words" I Love You" i did not have the courage to say......Till then....Monday is sure prove to kill me alr....PE **** LAH...SSP is like 1hr 30 mins difference in each....i really cannot get used to upper secondary life...
我觉得很累，我从来没那么累过！ 我应不应该放齐，谁能给我开一条新路？, 15:59;
Friday, April 3
**** off
Whichever Idiot using my name to write on my name PLEASE FUCK OFF, My name is not for you to use.....And that idiot scolding me a gay please FUCK OFF!!!!!.... Anyway my name is not for you to use at all, bastard....like you dun have a name at all must use people name......
Today, was pretty nice, Had pizza hut lunch that clocked up to 9 Bucks....A reward for a week survival..... But it like fucking dampen by that stupid guy which has no balls to write. But, i do know who is that....dun think that i do not know. Then today A-Maths, HE CALLED MY PHONE AND MY PHONE DID NOT ON SILENT MODE. I was like caught but didn't get confiscated. Mrs tan treated it as "a aeroplane which has a loud engine flew past our school." I was like trembling while the ringtone played. Sian sia, concfronted him, he say he is just checking my number and accidently press the call button. Waaaa fux.... Then afternoon go to CP with Clement, bron, yh,mavis to have lunch they are still playing monkey now. haha
Anyone was offended by the earlier words, i seek your forgiveness, i was very angry with some stupid brainless guy using my name to post. No name ah, want scold scold in my face. FUCK OFF, WAN SCOLD, ON MY FACE. I ALREADY ANTICIPATE WHO IS THAT, JUST THAT FEW PERSON.....I CAN GUESS OUT
It's been 3/4 month ,3 WHOLE WEEKS,21 Days,
我觉得很累，我从来没那么累过！ 我应不应该放齐，谁能给我开一条新路？, 15:38;
Wednesday, April 1
Regretting
After the talk with my brother yesterday night, it makes me realise i wasn't good at the first place. I did not serve the purpose of Brother. Just like what he said "人在做,天在看" "What goes around comes around" I realise that whatever i do now, my sons grandsons would do double or triple back to me. This is just like Retribution. I realise that i was in the fault. My mindset took my mind into depression. I did not think properly, just keep thinking that i do not exist, my whole family hates me. I really regret my action. But to me, Sia Yi Xian is already dead. The one who writing now is a new Sia Yi Xian. I want to change and to change other people. I hope that people who are being offended by me Forgive Me. I have sinned. Forgive me Lord, I promise to change who i am now. i made this promise and swear i will keep my promise......
我觉得很累，我从来没那么累过！ 我应不应该放齐，谁能给我开一条新路？, 21:26;